Most of us understand that a healthy sex life can boost the quality of a relationship. Research shows that it can heighten our immune system, help relieve stress, and strengthen the bond with our partners. But real sex lives have challenges, unlike the stuff you see in the movies or the sexual imagery you find online.

So how do you really know when you should be concerned?

As a sex therapist, I help people on a daily basis have healthier, more mutually-satisfying, pleasure-filled sex lives. Below are just some of the reasons why people seek out my support.

1. You’re Scared To Talk To Your Partner About Your Sexual Desires/Fantasies

Being a little nervous about bringing up the topic of sex is to be expected, but if you feel frozen about how to share what turns you on or what you’d like to explore, you might benefit from working with a sex therapist. The sex therapist can help create a safe, non-judgmental environment to help each of you begin talking about sexy time.

2. One of You Rarely (If Ever) Wants to Have Sex

Although it’s common to have different levels of sexual desires if one partner is always initiating and the other partner is always avoiding sex then it may be time to begin exploring what else is going on. A sex therapist can help partners explore what physical, relational, and emotional issues may be contributing to the gap in sexual desire.

3. You’re Interested in Opening the Relationship

Perhaps you and your partner are curious about what it would be like to open up the relationship to include more partners. Sex therapy can help guide your discussion on what emotions may arise by opening the relationship, as well as navigating and setting new, more expanded boundaries.

4. You Have a Trauma History and It’s Begun to Negatively Impact Your Sex Life

If you have a history of physical, sexual, medical, emotional trauma then this can be impacting your ability to feel safe and let go during sex. Trauma is NOT in your head. Trauma rewires our nervous system often making it difficult to stay present enough during sex to experience pleasure. A sex therapist can help you untangle the trauma, so you can begin to enjoy healthier sex life.

These are just a few reasons to seek out the support of a sex therapist. Just like any other issue you may be wanting to address in therapy, take the time to interview the therapist. Call them up and request a consultation. Ask them where they received their sex therapy training? What issues do they specialize in within the sex therapy world? If dealing with trauma, are they trauma-informed/trained? Sex therapy can sound a lot more intimidating than it actually is and, in the long run, can help you have the sex life you always desired.

For more information on healthy sex & pleasure-filled relationships follow me at @elizagboquin and @flowandeasewithe on Twitter & Instagram. Texas residents can book a session at

As a Licensed Psychotherapist, Relationship Therapist, Sex Therapist, Energy Healing Practitioner and Entrepreneur, Eliza Boquin, MA, LMFT works with couples & individuals to overcome past traumas, emotional pain, and destructive relationship patterns so they can begin to enjoy more healthy, satisfying, and pleasure-filled lives.

You can find her working with clients at her private practice, The Flow & Ease Healing Center in Houston, TX, hosting workshops, webinars, and at public speaking events helping people gain the skills to reach their relationship goals.

She has also been featured in Men's Health, Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, Fatherly, Bustle, ThriveWorks, Good Therapy, Stylecaster, Business Insider, Houstonia Magazine, and on Houston's Amazing 102.5 FM, and KBXX 97.9 FM - The Box. Cosmopolitan named her Instagram one of the “Instagram Accounts to Follow for the Best Relationship Advice” and Women’s Health named her Instagram Account as one of “Best Instagram Therapists To Follow For **Expert** Relationship Advice”.

  • Untamed

Wild Women Chronicles are a series of articles written by women just like you who are becoming more confident in themselves and their bodies, who go after what they want and aren't unashamed about who they are. This is for you.

Happy Day Divine Goddesses!

By the title of this article you may feel offended, but truly I mean no harm, or disrespect. Listen, I get it, you’ve got a lot on your plate: people to see, things to do and mountains to move! After all, we are Divine Feminine. We are mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, listeners, counselors (paid and non-paid), problem-fixers, teachers, preachers, shakers and movers; however, when do you ever just sit, be still and RECEIVE?

When do you allow your cup to be filled? When do you allow God or the Universe to give to you? You do so much giving you barely make time to receive and sometimes we feel guilty about receiving what is rightfully ours. Goddess if you do this, you are out of balance!

Not too long ago, Goddess Hathor, taught me some valuable lessons in walking in receptivity. We pray and petition for our hearts desires, but we must be walking in openness and receptivity to receive.

At my birthday gathering before anyone arrived, one of my cousins was trying to move the furniture for me and my guests, in beautiful red heels. I stopped her and whispered,

“Let the men do it. You are to cute to be moving furniture. Plus, they have available muscles, ready to be used.”

Some of us love to help so much, we hinder our opportunities to receive. A couple of weeks later she strained muscles in her rib-cage, how? Because she was moving or picking up something she had no business.

I told her, “Goddess, it’s time for you to start delegating! Sit on your throne and don’t do shit!”

I get that 99.9% of us have been taught that we are to always help when we can. I AM here to tell you that’s some bullshit. You should help when your cup is full and running over. Start allowing your Spirit and intuition to lead you when you should be of service to someone. If you’re helping out of guilt, you will do it disgruntledly, knowing damn well you don’t want to.

For me, I had to learn to receive help by simply saying yes to,

“Would you like me to carry your table or anything?”

“Would you like water, tea or soda?”

“Would you like me to carry x,y,z to your car?”

I’ve exclaimed, “No,” so many times not realizing, I was telling the Universe, “No, I don’t need your help. I got it.” Truth is, I was saying no to “little things” and closing the door to bigger blessings. OUCH!

Solutions: Sitting on your throne helps you to focus, delegate, positions you to meditate and receive downloads from Source. Gives you “me time”, allows your cup to refill, aids in rest, and puts you in a position to allow all you are asking for to flow to you. You don’t have to chase anything, it attracts to you like a magnet. This position of sitting on your throne is definitely a state of higher consciousness.

To help with this, Goddess Hathor gave me an incantation to recite to myself when in need.

“I AM sweet like honey, powerful as the sea.
Thank you Universe for attracting and bringing everything that is good and meant for me.
I declare I AM open and walking in receptivity.”

I hope this short, yet powerful incantation aids you in your journey as it has mine. It is still Harvest Season so it’s not too late to reap with an open heart all you’ve sown.

Much power and love to you on your journey Goddesses.



Native Houstonian, Sharetha Nicole, is a force all her own. She is known to wear hats such

as Massage Therapist, Reiki Therapist, Spiritual Advisor, Counselor, Frequency Healer, Intuitive and many more. She received her education from Prairie View A&M University, her Masters in Counseling from Texas Southern University, Texas Center for Massage Therapy and Life of Peace Wellness Institute studying Naturopathy as well as Reiki. Sharetha is also very big on self- mastery and being a life-long learner.

“What good is information if we do not know the most important book of them all? Our selves.”

Obtaining all the knowledge received, thus far, allows her to be well versed in the Healing

and Spiritual Arts however, she does not prefer titles. Her spiritual gifts include: heighted

awareness since she was a little girl, being able to hear (being clairaudient) feel (being

clairsentient) interpret dreams, and necromancy (being able to speak with Ancestors or people that have transitioned to the Spiritual Realm). Her ultimate purpose is to live her best life to her highest potential while aiding others on their journey through Self-Awareness, Healing, Teaching, and Inner Knowing.



I pray the universe loves you today

The love you perceive

A reflection of the person staring back at you

Mirroring your energy and vibrations

Trying to hide your anger through various libations




To the world and any emotions besides happiness

For you seek without what is really within

Sin after sin

Weak to your thoughts

That linger and make you believe they’ll make things better

When really…

I pray the universe loves you today and your beautiful smile

Projecting joy within

Such peace and knowing

Knowing that all that is within is without and all that is,

Is one

One protected under the Son

Nourished from the Sun

Glowing, giving, breathing life into you

Into me


Pray the universe loves you today

When you’re feeling down and

Woe is me

Push pass all familiarity of sadness and pain

Make your mind move forward

Where no toxic energy remains

And allow your heart to be open

Letting the colors reign free

Into all seven realms that is you

That is me


I hope the universe loves you today

Recognizing every light that shines on you


Pouring abundance of love into each other like

You pour water into the glass on a hot sunny day

Quenching the thirst

The desire, the need…

To be happy…free…liberated…

I hope the universe loves you today


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